Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy. 1 Peter 1:8
Yes
I love Him.
What I have not seen, what I have not heard, I know . . . I love.
Do you know what this beloved one also says?
The one I have called not my loved one, will be called my beloved.
and
The one that has not sought or looked for me, will find me.
I am undone.
I was the one.
I found love from Him who opens the way for every heart, who calls to all, in all ways, to come home to love the one they have longed for and have never seen.
Be filled with joy.
You may find the one you did not know to look for.
Showing posts with label Joy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Joy. Show all posts
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Friday, February 1, 2008
Quieter Commitments
I’ve been thinking a lot about the quieter commitments that I’ve made in my life that have guided and directed it. They are commitments that are so quiet I didn’t even realize I’d made them.
My life has a momentum I don’t like, yet it feels so much like unnamable forces are in control. I’m aware there are things I could change. There are some really obvious to do’s. Anyone could do them. I could do them. I’ve had many a well meaning friend, even strangers suggest them. Yet, I can’t seem to jump the hurdle, find the energy or even more importantly the desire.
But very recently God’s grace and light has come to me. In a very difficult conversation, someone I trust pointed out to me one of these barely audible commitments. I learned in an eye twinkling moment that the to do’s I’m not doing, have a whole lot to do with this very quiet, subconscious commitment I’ve made about how I will live my life.
It was a deeply sobering moment as the light poured down onto the far reaching consequences it’s had. The light poured down on the deep root of it’s presence in my life, a commitment with such an obvious hold that this person who saw it expressed fear that I may never change.
Her statement felt like a gauntlet, though I know that was not its intent. I could feel my heels digging in to letting this thing go and so I felt the validity of her fear and it became mine too. I’ve ruled my life this way for so long and have built up a litany of powerful justifications for it. I do want to change, but am I up for the price of it?
Am I up for the pain I will have to face in how I’ve harmed my self and others in this? Am I up for the reopening of fearful and painful wounds that caused me to create such a deep commitment?
I think of Christ who for the joy set before him endured the cross. I wonder if, in this revelation, I have now wandered into a chance to follow His way, that my feet are now walking on His path? I wonder, if I endure through what I know will be painful, if I will come into the joy. And what joy did the Lord set before Him and enter? What joy can I expect? He entered the joy of restored relationship with all His creation. He entered the joy of restoring a relationship with me. So in this journey I will reach to Him and enter that joy too.
An encouraging thought comes to me as I embark. His pain was not greater than his joy. If it were the universe would have fallen apart. Don’t you think? So I will take that promise of greater joy and walk. In the midst of pain, I will ever cast my self into the joy of being with Him.
My life has a momentum I don’t like, yet it feels so much like unnamable forces are in control. I’m aware there are things I could change. There are some really obvious to do’s. Anyone could do them. I could do them. I’ve had many a well meaning friend, even strangers suggest them. Yet, I can’t seem to jump the hurdle, find the energy or even more importantly the desire.
But very recently God’s grace and light has come to me. In a very difficult conversation, someone I trust pointed out to me one of these barely audible commitments. I learned in an eye twinkling moment that the to do’s I’m not doing, have a whole lot to do with this very quiet, subconscious commitment I’ve made about how I will live my life.
It was a deeply sobering moment as the light poured down onto the far reaching consequences it’s had. The light poured down on the deep root of it’s presence in my life, a commitment with such an obvious hold that this person who saw it expressed fear that I may never change.
Her statement felt like a gauntlet, though I know that was not its intent. I could feel my heels digging in to letting this thing go and so I felt the validity of her fear and it became mine too. I’ve ruled my life this way for so long and have built up a litany of powerful justifications for it. I do want to change, but am I up for the price of it?
Am I up for the pain I will have to face in how I’ve harmed my self and others in this? Am I up for the reopening of fearful and painful wounds that caused me to create such a deep commitment?
I think of Christ who for the joy set before him endured the cross. I wonder if, in this revelation, I have now wandered into a chance to follow His way, that my feet are now walking on His path? I wonder, if I endure through what I know will be painful, if I will come into the joy. And what joy did the Lord set before Him and enter? What joy can I expect? He entered the joy of restored relationship with all His creation. He entered the joy of restoring a relationship with me. So in this journey I will reach to Him and enter that joy too.
An encouraging thought comes to me as I embark. His pain was not greater than his joy. If it were the universe would have fallen apart. Don’t you think? So I will take that promise of greater joy and walk. In the midst of pain, I will ever cast my self into the joy of being with Him.
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