Word
I, who live by words, am wordless when
I try my words in prayer. All language turns
To silence. Prayer will take my words and then
Reveal their emptiness. The stilled voice learns
To hold its peace, to listen with the heart
To silence that is joy, is adoration.
The self is shattered, all words torn apart
In this strange patterned time of contemplation
That, in time, breaks time, breaks words, breaks me,
And then, in silence, leaves me healed and mended.
I leave, returned to language, for I see
Through words, even when all words are ended.
I, who live by words, am wordless when
I turn me to the Word to pray. Amen
-Madeline L'Engle
Oh, thank you Madeline, you are a good friend. I've felt wordless lately, in prayer and worship, not because there is nothing to express, but there are just no names. Every word threatens to make what is Holy, a whore, cheap and sellable. Only aching or rocking or whispering His name will do. Words chase the glory away, chase away His moving in my spirit. Song comes closer, but I cannot abide ascribed words, I fall silent again.I long for new words, Oh Lord help me sing something new about you, something that has lay there all along waiting. Let me "return to language" and see again.
Showing posts with label Creating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Creating. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Seeing?
I tried to see if there was something intresting or inspiring or thought provoking that I could write about today and post. I couldn't find it.
I got home and thought maybe I would put something up that someone else wrote that I find interesting or inspiring or thought provoking, so I went to my little quote book. Here is what I found.
"Poets are at the mercy of what they see."
-Kathleen Norris.
Yep. Still as true as the day I wrote it down.
I got home and thought maybe I would put something up that someone else wrote that I find interesting or inspiring or thought provoking, so I went to my little quote book. Here is what I found.
"Poets are at the mercy of what they see."
-Kathleen Norris.
Yep. Still as true as the day I wrote it down.
Friday, February 8, 2008
Justice and Judgment
Today I'm very aware of the need for justice and judgment. Unfortunately, I'm also aware that I've behaved in manners (recently) worthy of judgment. I see it pretty clearly (well that's all ways questionable) and all the judgment language in the Bible is actually comforting in this moment. It's comforting because there is a lot of stuff around me that deserves justice and punishment. I've heard, and I've done, a lot of railing against God about why he allows so much pain and suffering. But if you look at it, He says pretty often and clearly that He doesn't like what's going on either.
I know the question that follows a statement like that "why does he allow it to continue?" It's a painful question. I don't know. Maybe it was foolish to bring it up. But (and I say this to myself mostly) it feels crazy that when we ask these questions about suffering and then part of the answer God gives is your responsible and I don't like what your doing. We think He's being too mean.
We really don't want to see, maybe because we feel helpless, we feel more like bystanders than participants. But he made us participants, co-creators. He didn't make angels co-creators, He made them servants. That is a striking difference. He seems to not want to violate His own design and intention for us as co-creating beings, even if we wind up co-creating with His enemy. That one baffles me.
Today I trust God, I trust His judgment, even if that means He has to point out how I'm on the wrong side of things. It's easier to trust when you remember that He also says I want you to be on the right side of things and I've made a way for you to end up on the right side.
Lord teach us to carry judgment and mercy together. Let not either drive us to insanity. Help us return to co-creating with you.
Amen
I know the question that follows a statement like that "why does he allow it to continue?" It's a painful question. I don't know. Maybe it was foolish to bring it up. But (and I say this to myself mostly) it feels crazy that when we ask these questions about suffering and then part of the answer God gives is your responsible and I don't like what your doing. We think He's being too mean.
We really don't want to see, maybe because we feel helpless, we feel more like bystanders than participants. But he made us participants, co-creators. He didn't make angels co-creators, He made them servants. That is a striking difference. He seems to not want to violate His own design and intention for us as co-creating beings, even if we wind up co-creating with His enemy. That one baffles me.
Today I trust God, I trust His judgment, even if that means He has to point out how I'm on the wrong side of things. It's easier to trust when you remember that He also says I want you to be on the right side of things and I've made a way for you to end up on the right side.
Lord teach us to carry judgment and mercy together. Let not either drive us to insanity. Help us return to co-creating with you.
Amen
Friday, January 25, 2008
Creative work
My finger tips are a little sore this morning. I picked up my guitar last night and played for five minutes. It hurt. It's obviously been a long while. I forgot how comforting it can be to feel the guitars resonance all through me. I don't know any songs, just what I make up. I want that to change. It's hard to find the balance between fun and practice. Madeline L'Engle's words come to mind.
"When the work takes over, then the artist is enabled to get out of the way, not to interfere. When the work takes over, then the artist listens. But before he can listen, paradoxically, he must work. Getting out of the way and listening is not something that comes easily, whether in art or in prayer."
I suppose I take such comfort from her words because I know I need to work. I have a perfectionist streak that makes me think I need it all to come together immediately, but I'm learning that the work part is often the way I stumble into the free flowing, creative, still, listening part. I have more grace for myself when I remember that. Sometimes I actually believe that it's God that expects me to be perfect and able right away. I don't know how I come up with that. Obviously he knows we are creatures that take time and need lots of help.
Of course this also helps me in my spiritual life to. I think this is part of what draws me to the liturgy of my church, it starts me on my way, it warms me up and then I'm free to run. Sometimes that's the only way I can get going then some how by God's grace I enter a real encounter and he is really present and I am really present and we are talking. Sometimes it's saved my life.
"When the work takes over, then the artist is enabled to get out of the way, not to interfere. When the work takes over, then the artist listens. But before he can listen, paradoxically, he must work. Getting out of the way and listening is not something that comes easily, whether in art or in prayer."
I suppose I take such comfort from her words because I know I need to work. I have a perfectionist streak that makes me think I need it all to come together immediately, but I'm learning that the work part is often the way I stumble into the free flowing, creative, still, listening part. I have more grace for myself when I remember that. Sometimes I actually believe that it's God that expects me to be perfect and able right away. I don't know how I come up with that. Obviously he knows we are creatures that take time and need lots of help.
Of course this also helps me in my spiritual life to. I think this is part of what draws me to the liturgy of my church, it starts me on my way, it warms me up and then I'm free to run. Sometimes that's the only way I can get going then some how by God's grace I enter a real encounter and he is really present and I am really present and we are talking. Sometimes it's saved my life.
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