Wordless

Word

I, who live by words, am wordless when
I try my words in prayer. All language turns
To silence. Prayer will take my words and then
Reveal their emptiness. The stilled voice learns
To hold its peace, to listen with the heart
To silence that is joy, is adoration.
The self is shattered, all words torn apart
In this strange patterned time of contemplation
That, in time, breaks time, breaks words, breaks me,
And then, in silence, leaves me healed and mended.
I leave, returned to language, for I see
Through words, even when all words are ended.
I, who live by words, am wordless when
I turn me to the Word to pray. Amen

-Madeline L'Engle

Oh, thank you Madeline, you are a good friend. I've felt wordless lately, in prayer and worship, not because there is nothing to express, but there are just no names. Every word threatens to make what is Holy, a whore, cheap and sellable. Only aching or rocking or whispering His name will do. Words chase the glory away, chase away His moving in my spirit. Song comes closer, but I cannot abide ascribed words, I fall silent again.I long for new words, Oh Lord help me sing something new about you, something that has lay there all along waiting. Let me "return to language" and see again.