Revelation and Forming

"It came by revelation" . . . "till Christ be formed in you." Galatians

I'm swimming around in these two realities. Longing for both.

There is such a tension between these two statements. They are Paul's from Galatians. I'm caught between longing for revelation that transforms, as it did Paul and then the fact that there is a "forming" also. I've had my share of transforming moments. I've had my share of forming. I suppose I'm longing more for the former to occur at the moment, a revelation of who Jesus is and what he means to me that compels me with longing to share with others who he is.

Sunday Ken, the pastor at IAC, addressed the need for revelation so that we may go out and make disciples. God winks at me, letting me know that he is stirring desire for him within me along with everybody else.

I have to say there is a great deal of confusion that happens in my own heart as I hear the go out part. I don't feel like I have gone out in my Christian life, at least not where it's really counted. I think many believers feel this way. We wind up with a great deal of condemnation for not being more fanatic. I'm not sure fanatic is the word I'm looking for, but perhaps it's more like earnest or sure. I confess there is a lot about my faith I don't think I could ever hope to defend to a skeptic, and I even feel how keenly I don't want to defend. What I would really like to happen is to just love. I want to love by speaking truth but not wind up in platitudes. I want all those things we say about Jesus and faith in him to hit the heart of it all when I speak it to someone.

Later this week I read something in Acts that stirred me even more. Peter says to a crippled beggar "Sliver or gold I do not have, but what I have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk." And the man does. I suppose this is what I'm looking for. Yes, I would love for the Spirit of God to heal through me like this, but also what ever measure I have I want to give.