Joining the Chorus

Two advent seasons ago, Jan Meyers facilitated a wonderful retreat. In that retreat she brought up the idea or question of how we join the enemy's chorus. (I think that's close to how she phrased it. I don't remember the exact terms she used.) But this idea has floated up to me again today.

Primarily it is a question of how we have joined with the lies he tells us about ourselves. This morning I've been reflecting on some lies I've received as truth about myself (some really insidious ones, the kind that I wrote about in "Quieter Commitments").

It's sobering to realize that although someone has been cruel to you that in order to navigate that cruelty you've been crueler to yourself. This joining, this writing of your own line to make some harmony in the hopes of making those dissonant notes less unsettling is the playground of the enemy. As long as he can keep you listening to his song he can hold sway and keep you from real life and from knowing salvation.

I was angry as I thought about these things. I was angry with what was done and appalled with how I've agreed with and joined the lies. Helplessness creeps at the door here. How do I change, how do I come before the God of Truth and be made whole? Revelation is powerful and sometimes feels as if that is all that is needed, but it doesn't always produce repentance. I think I feel the pressure of needing a sudden all at once change to feel that it's real, but this may take time.

I'm draw to remember that it is Lent and this is the time to understand the darkness and need of our life before the Glory of Easter morning.