Singing has been an adventure and obviously important to me considering it’s the theme around which I started writing this blog. I often want to say more about it, but find it hard to actually speak about in a meaningful way. But yesterday I had a break through, a moment when, in the words of my theme poem, “the veil began to lift.”
The strongest desire I have when I sing is that I get what's in there out there. I often feel that I fall short. It's not a bad feeling, just a longing that what's in my heart meets reality, that it's honest and life giving and that it's something the listener grabs a hold of and is moved by.
One thing that I've struggled with is getting volume out of my voice and still maintaining the purity of the tone. Months ago when I wrote about limitations with my voice this is what I was struggling with. My voice has a nice quality, but not a fullness of volume that is better for soloing.
But yesterday it happened. I don't know if it's just taken me a while to learn control and to gain strength or if it has more to do with running and having stronger lungs, but whatever the reason, it happened.
I was singing a song that we don't sing very often that has an echo part in it, which I didn't remember till we got to that part in the song. I hear in my head that there should be an echo and then oh yeah I should sing it! So I do. Typically I sing harmony and so my voice isn't usually out there by itself and suddenly it was. And I was so surprised that it just sailed out strongly and even felt like it meet the strength of the lead vocalist voice. Which usually when I hear my voice next to his feels pale. It was so exciting. I was so into it that I even varied the echo from the melody line. It was so fun! I finally felt like the strength of conviction that was in me was coming out of me. It was such a satisfying thing and made me feel grateful that I could do that.
Later the person I was singing with said he noticed how much stronger I sounded and had to look over and watch what I was doing ; ) It's nice to know it wasn't just me thinking that.
It was like that wonder filed moment a kid has when they realize that they don’t need the training wheels on their bike any more, dad has let go and they are riding on there own. I floated the rest of the day with the joy that I just may have a voice that's as big as what's in my heart.
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3 comments:
Erica, you have described the moment so beautifully that I can feel your joy and hear your voice 'sail out strongly'. I just want to reach out and give you a huge hug!
You have a beautiful writting style, it just flows, you can feel your joy.
Erica, I wanted to comment on this post. I've been thinking of it ever since I read it. I love what you've described here. How encouraging, exciting, thrilling to feel that shift!!! peace, friend! Love, Susan.
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