My finger tips are a little sore this morning. I picked up my guitar last night and played for five minutes. It hurt. It's obviously been a long while. I forgot how comforting it can be to feel the guitars resonance all through me. I don't know any songs, just what I make up. I want that to change. It's hard to find the balance between fun and practice. Madeline L'Engle's words come to mind.
"When the work takes over, then the artist is enabled to get out of the way, not to interfere. When the work takes over, then the artist listens. But before he can listen, paradoxically, he must work. Getting out of the way and listening is not something that comes easily, whether in art or in prayer."
I suppose I take such comfort from her words because I know I need to work. I have a perfectionist streak that makes me think I need it all to come together immediately, but I'm learning that the work part is often the way I stumble into the free flowing, creative, still, listening part. I have more grace for myself when I remember that. Sometimes I actually believe that it's God that expects me to be perfect and able right away. I don't know how I come up with that. Obviously he knows we are creatures that take time and need lots of help.
Of course this also helps me in my spiritual life to. I think this is part of what draws me to the liturgy of my church, it starts me on my way, it warms me up and then I'm free to run. Sometimes that's the only way I can get going then some how by God's grace I enter a real encounter and he is really present and I am really present and we are talking. Sometimes it's saved my life.
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2 comments:
well said, friend. I love M. L'Engle's writings. Sad to hear she passed away last year. And it is so true that the flow comes once we actually pick the instrument, whatever it may be. A small act, but a step toward something.
Being a perfectionist can get in the way, but it can also push the desire to new and better heights.
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